 | Works of John Taylor the Water Poet not included in the folio volume of 1630 |  |
1648 An Ironicall Expostulation.
ΙΠΠ-ΑΝΘΡΩΠΟΣ:
OR, AN Ironicall Expostulation WITH DEATH and FATE, For the Losse of The late Lord Mayor of London; Who on Friday October 27. 1648. expired together with his Office; and both He and his Bay-Horse di'd o'th' Sullens.
Si Cato reddatur, Cæsarianus erit.
Martial.
3
Fortune
, thou art a Whore; and Death, thou art
('Tis ro be fear'd) a Cavaleer in Heart:
You, that so formall stand with Scythe and Glasse,
Think not in private with our Lord to passe.
Was there but one choice peice? one dainty bit,
And your leane ugly Jaws must fall on it?
Were there not Dray-men, Butchers, plump and fat,
But you must pick a Weasle out, a Rat?
Was it you took a liking to the Elfe,
For his Complexion, 'twas so like your selfe?
('Tis ro be fear'd) a Cavaleer in Heart:
You, that so formall stand with Scythe and Glasse,
Think not in private with our Lord to passe.
Was there but one choice peice? one dainty bit,
And your leane ugly Jaws must fall on it?
Were there not Dray-men, Butchers, plump and fat,
But you must pick a Weasle out, a Rat?
Was it you took a liking to the Elfe,
For his Complexion, 'twas so like your selfe?
Or for your Ease, lest a more weighty pack
Should in the transportation break your back?
Was it you found him grating of a scull
Which you might call your owne, you did him cull?
Or that his soveraign Drugs restor'd a Brother,
That through an Hurdle suckt (you'l say) his Mother?
Was it you came before his Plots were ripe,
And he refus'd to ask you, smoake a Pipe?
If none of these, why then so hasty, Death?
What, not afford a Lord Mayor two daies breath?
When the Potato-Pies, and Capons were
Bought, and in readinesse to end the year?
If 'twas his lot to die, well; else 'twas base,
To cull a Magistrate for's Chain, or Mace.
This was plain Tyranny, we cannot blame
Him for an Independent, when you came.
Restore him to us; sure 'twas a mistake,
King Noll and's Kindred else will make you quake.
Should in the transportation break your back?
Was it you found him grating of a scull
Which you might call your owne, you did him cull?
Or that his soveraign Drugs restor'd a Brother,
That through an Hurdle suckt (you'l say) his Mother?
Was it you came before his Plots were ripe,
And he refus'd to ask you, smoake a Pipe?
If none of these, why then so hasty, Death?
What, not afford a Lord Mayor two daies breath?
When the Potato-Pies, and Capons were
Bought, and in readinesse to end the year?
If 'twas his lot to die, well; else 'twas base,
To cull a Magistrate for's Chain, or Mace.
This was plain Tyranny, we cannot blame
Him for an Independent, when you came.
4
King Noll and's Kindred else will make you quake.
Was it for this he did so long oppose
Monarchy, and Princes, to be led by th'Nose,
And shown in Pluto's Court, with O yes! here
Comes my Lord Mayre and's Horse; provide um cheere?
Was it for this he became Pimp, to th'State,
And to admit their Army op'd the Gate?
While in Triumphant manner they bestrid
London, like George on Horseback, as they rid?
Was it for preservation of the flock,
So many o'th' wicked he condemn'd to th'Block?
And with his sword of Power cut in two
What neither Law nor Justice e're could do?
Monarchy, and Princes, to be led by th'Nose,
And shown in Pluto's Court, with O yes! here
Comes my Lord Mayre and's Horse; provide um cheere?
Was it for this he became Pimp, to th'State,
And to admit their Army op'd the Gate?
While in Triumphant manner they bestrid
London, like George on Horseback, as they rid?
Was it for preservation of the flock,
So many o'th' wicked he condemn'd to th'Block?
And with his sword of Power cut in two
What neither Law nor Justice e're could do?
O Death! thou art ungratefull; he has sent
More to thee in one yeare then th'Plague or Lent.
By Proclamations, by Collections too
'Gainst th'Common Enemy what e're would do.
I say again, restore, or wee'l appeale
And have you put down Traytor under seale.
More to thee in one yeare then th'Plague or Lent.
By Proclamations, by Collections too
'Gainst th'Common Enemy what e're would do.
I say again, restore, or wee'l appeale
And have you put down Traytor under seale.
Say Mr. Speaker, is't not Treason scan'd,
For Death t'arrest a Member under hand
And without th'Houses leave?—I know 'tis so,
Youl find it—Caroli Vicesimo.
For Death t'arrest a Member under hand
And without th'Houses leave?—I know 'tis so,
Youl find it—Caroli Vicesimo.
Is't not against an Order lately made,
All Members to be free, their debts unpaid?
Did they not pitch upon a day, to wit,
Doomsday ith' Afternoon to think on it?
All Members to be free, their debts unpaid?
Did they not pitch upon a day, to wit,
Doomsday ith' Afternoon to think on it?
But all this will not do: hee's gon to tell
Hampden and Brooks, and Pym the Newes in Hell.
Hampden and Brooks, and Pym the Newes in Hell.
How there is Peace (God blesse us) coming on
(That Antichristian brat of Babylon)
When 'tis against his Conscience to submit
Or have a finger in restoring it.
Would not the world cry shame, should he accord
VVho in his Name has War, and's Armes the sword?
Hee's gon to tell them of a certain thing
Coming to London, whom men call the King:
Whose Scepter will out-sway, and bring in thrall
Th'establish'd Government Anarchicall.
And with his Radiant lustre quite dispell
What for these seven years has been hatch'd in Hell.
Yet let none say he's broke or run away,
(That Antichristian brat of Babylon)
When 'tis against his Conscience to submit
Or have a finger in restoring it.
Would not the world cry shame, should he accord
VVho in his Name has War, and's Armes the sword?
Hee's gon to tell them of a certain thing
Coming to London, whom men call the King:
5
Th'establish'd Government Anarchicall.
And with his Radiant lustre quite dispell
What for these seven years has been hatch'd in Hell.
But (as the wiser call't) he did convey
Himselfe into a Church, in policie,
Where he was sure none would suspect him lie.
No clamorous Bell pronounce his fall, no Gun,
He was no Warriar, nor no Whittington.
(Only the joviall Butchers (in the Stocks)
Gave him a dismall peale with cleaver-knocks.)
Let him sans Common-Prayer in silence passe,
Be buried with the buriall of an Asse.
So farewell horse and man, dead and forgot,
Both infamous let both together rot.
Rejoyce Apprentices, your day is come
No more to stand in fear of Martyrdome:
No more shall yee to Bridewell go, and pay
For your extravagance the last Lords day.
Now ye may circumambulate, and see
Morefields and Islington without a fee.
No more henceforth shall th'Surry Cavaliers
Go home and shake their heads without their eares.
All troubled waters now shall to their springs
Returne, and one raigne, not five hundred Kings.
Yet all this while we erre, and accuse Fate,
When he his own end did accelerate;
For having drunk a scruple over-night
Of jealousies and fears, he took his flight.
Thus Hanniball, and those heroick blades,
Minding an easie way to get to th'Shades,
Made use o'th' Druggists Art, and to provide
'Gainst future vengeance, drunk their dosse, and di'd.
6
An Epitaph on the Mayor, &c.
Vnder this Tomb-stone lies a thing,Enemy both to Church and King.
No Protestant, and yet no Papist,
A Puritan, and yet an Atheist.
For Magistracy a grand stickler,
Yet a most zealous Conventickler:
One that for Christ would live and die,
(Yet kept no Christ-tide verily.)
One that the Prophets slew, and took
Th'Apostles badge from out the Booke.
One that the Rubrick took away,
And gave th'Apprentices Tuesday.
One that did every thing amisse,
Then riddle me, riddle me, who was this?
An Epitaph on my Lord Mayors Horse.
Here in this Oyle-Tub (Reader stand aloofe)Lies Great Bucephalus, beware his hoofe;
Who out of a good nature needs would die,
Meerly to keep his Master company.
Bay was his name, some call'd him, Rosemary,
For his victorious feats, and Chivalry:
But if he had no name, the Bulks and Shambles
Would speak him famous for his Christmasse Gambolls:
When from an Amble to a Trot anon
Bravely he trod down Superstition.
For which rare service 'tis decreed he lie
Pickled and Powder'd for Posterity.
And live by this Inscription (somewhat course)
Down went the Popish Rites, Grammercy Horse.
7
A Dialogicall brief Discourse between Rainsborough and Charon, at their meeting, Octob. 29. 1648.
Charon.Welcome to th'shades; hail Brother Rainsborough:
I am a Boat-man, so were you.
Most opportunely! See th'triumphant Mayor,
(No lesse a man) is our first fare.
Had you not come, his Honour had (by Styx)
Fairl' in a Sculler gone t'Old Nick's.
Rainsb.
Now he may ride in Oares—forbeare; alas,
He that you speak of may not passe.
What will Iudge Rhadamanth and Minos say,
If we th' arrested Corps convey?
I that on Earth was above Law, yet know
How to conforme my self below.
Charon.
Hum! I have lost my Naula; let it go;
Now to your businesse Rainsborough.
Rainsb.
Know then, that I from th'English Coast am sent
By th'States, to know your Government.
And e're the Vote passe, hence must have command,
That the new Anarchy may stand:
Speak Charon, speak; if Pluto think it good,
I have already seal'd it with my blood.
Charon.
Dull Man, or Ghost; or whatsoe're thou art,
Thou think'st to alienate my heart:
Know'st not we have a Prince; and though the Devill,
One that abjures all you that Levell?
You that incroach, my Office to enjoy;
Were you not once a Skippers Boy?
By all th'infernall gods, lay by thy Spade,
Or be suspected guilty Hell t'invade.
Rainsb.
No more; I yeeld: the Government stand,
I was but sent here under-hand)
8
They would put hard for Anarchy.
Charon.
Anarchy? Hell and Furies! such a word
Once more, and thou go'st over-board.
Belzebub, if he knew thee at this height,
Would have thee carbonado'd streight.
Leave us—and yet I'le write thy Epitaph,
Meerly to make the Devill laugh.
For, by the Rabbies leave, without controule,
'Twas not a Fire removed his pure Soule.
Epitaph.
Weltring in blood see here an Horse-leech sprawll,Glutted and overcharg'd, yet loath to fall;
Bred up 'ith Ocean; lately crept to th'shore,
(Though he had all, yet covetous of more.)
Which when the wise Phisitian saw, his thirst
That 'twas unsatiable, let him burst:
So having empti'd and disgorg'd his Maw,
Hence through the Rubick sea he swam away.
Feare not Colchestrian Dames, lest Lucas 'rise;
Veng'ance is fully paid; Here Rainsb'rongh lies.
FINIS.
| Works of John Taylor the Water Poet not included in the folio volume of 1630 | |